Me: “ Would you like to hold, or leave a message in their voicemail?”

Caller:  “Yes.”

Me:  “Would you like to leave a message in their voicemail?”

Caller:  “That’s all right.”

This left me wondering if the caller meant, “Yes, that’s all right,” or “No, that’s all right – I’ll call back.”

I loved the callers who would say, after I had answered the phone, “Uhhhhhh, ummmm, uhhh …” as if they had no idea why they had called.  It would take a while for them to remember, and in the meantime the switchboard was lighting up like crazy with callers whom I assumed actually had a clue.

Me:  “Acme Boot Company, how may I help you?”

Caller:  “Is this Acme Boot Company?”

There was the wealthy customer who was very difficult to get along with.  If he was unhappy about something, which was a good deal of the time, he would take it out on me (the least likely person to be able to help him).  He wouldn’t talk with his sales person because he didn’t like being transferred.  So I had to listen to his tirade and remember it as best I could, so I could relay the complaint to his sales person later.  I’d be sweating bullets, because he talked very rapidly, wouldn’t repeat himself – even phone numbers - and God help me if I got anything wrong.  Imagine, again, the switchboard vying for my attention as I scribbled furiously.

A personal pet peeve was people wandering in off the streets to use the employee rest rooms.  Ick.  

Another was people asking me to make copies or send their faxes on our company’s machines, like we were a Staples or Home Depot or something.

Or how about the kids running amuck, causing the water cooler to overflow, running into offices, typing on computers, while the parents blithely go about their business, paying not one whit of attention.  Add child wrangler to my resume.

Caller:  “Someone called me from your business.  Who was it?”  This to a business with approximately 120 employees.

One day a customer took a Santa from my desk display, saying, “My grandkid will love this.”