RE: Insecure Dad

Dear Miss Smarty pants,

I read the article/letter from Insecure Dad and was moved to respond. I'm so sorry for his loss of his wife.. It's easy to see how much he cares for his daughter and is trying to do his best.

I have some encouragement for him you can pass along to him.. For i too was a single father of a beautiful little girl. Although my wife did not die,
We were divorced. My daughter, Lynn Was about 15 months old at the time. This was in 1980 and I have been told Its amazing that I got custody of my daughter. In those days that was very uncommon.

I too felt the weight of what i was doing on my shoulders as well.

I wanted to be more than a child support check. I wanted to shape her life with the values and faith my parents lavished on me.
My life consisted of caring for her and working. Not much time for dating. I was lonely at times and didn't fit in with most social groups.

It seemed like I'd get the hang of one stage of Lynn's life and the next stage would appear. ! I can say I taught her how to put on and ty her shoes . I got her off the baby bottle and pacifier. taught her how to dress herself, and other ordinary feats that were very big milestones at the time!!

I agree with miss Smartypants on spending time with your daughter and reading to her/with her. those are bonding times and times of adventure!

I felt inadequate at times because i felt that she had a huge loss without having a mom around daily. I was just a man. and If you listen to the media/sitcomes They paint men/dads as simpeltons who have no maternal instints. This is So not true. I'd wake up at the slightest noise at night to whatever need Lynn had when she was sick or just having a bad dream. Spending time with her, and being consistant in that gave her a stability that I wasn't going to leave.. She needed that and my social life wasn't that nessassary then.

I Would never trade those days of raising her on my own for Anthing. We have a bond that I can't describe it's value. I was there when she graduated from high school, I sat in the balcony and could only see the students shoes as they inched twards the entrance way to the stage, I knew her shoes... I knew her jokes, her friends, her hopes , her disapointments.

You may carry a daunting mantel on your shoulders carring for her. But it's a mantel worth bearing!!!! Press on !

This Bible verse in Psalms encouraged me through the years. "The LORD watches over the Alien (foriener) And sustains the fatherless (motherless as well) And the widow(er)" Psalms 146 verse 9. He The LORD is faithful!! The LORD provided key women in my daughters life at just the right times that helped mold and shape my daughter as well. They were a true blessing from GOD!!

She today has a husband who dearly loves her, and two boys 3 and 1.5 years old.They are a joy !! She stays home and cares for them. I am incredibly proud of her!!!!!!!! She has turned into a beautiful woman that loves The Lord and her family!

You are in my prayers!!!!!!! GOD Bless!!