Readers, I hope you are not getting tired of reading about domestic violence in this column.  We’re taking a pretty exhaustive look at it because it is a problem in the area reached by the Cedar Valley Saver, and we want to be sure the information is available, whether  you are being abused or know someone who may need some guidance.  In the last issue we listed some signs of abuse.  Here are more:

CRUELTY TO ANIMALS OR CHILDREN

• Treats animals cruelly or is insensitive to their suffering.
• Expects children to be capable of doing things far beyond their capability or teases children until they cry.
• Forces the children to watch the abuse of the victim or engages them in the abuse of the victim.

EXTREME JEALOUSY

• Becomes jealous of anyone of anything that takes her time away from the relationship.
• Says things like, “If I can’t have you, nobody will.”
• Requires her to account for all of her time.
• Accuses her of flirting or of having affairs.
• Calls her frequently at work or refuses to let her go to work.

CONTROLLING BEHAVIOR

• Makes all the decisions about the house, her clothing or where they go.
• Is extremely impatient and might exhibit poor impulse control.  Believes his needs and wants should be fulfilled immediately.
• Uses money to control her activities, purchases and behavior.

ISOLATION

• Cuts her off from resources.
• Accuses people who are her supports of causing trouble.
• May not let her use the car, work or go to school.
• Says things like, “Your family just doesn’t like me or think I’m good enough.”

DR. JEKYLL AND MR. HYDE

• Has sudden and extreme changes in mood.
• Is alternatively loving and abusive.
• Can behave explosively.

RAPE OR USE OF FORCE IN SEX

• Has no concern about whether she wants to have sex
• Uses sulking, anger, harassment, or coercion to manipulate her into compliance.
• Forces her to have sex while she is sleeping or when she is ill or injured after a beating.

You can find a list of local agencies that help people who are being abused.  Get onto the Saver’s website at www.cvsaver.com, click on Articles and News, click on Miss SmartyPants, and scroll down to the December 17^th column titled “Dear Reader”.  Gabriel Garcia Marquez, the major Colombian novelist,  wrote, “Nobody deserves your tears, but whoever deserves them will not make you cry.”