I’m a little concerned about my elderly neighbor.  We get together maybe once a month or so for coffee and conversation, sometimes at her place and sometimes at mine.  She is a sweet lady who lives alone in her apartment.  She doesn’t seem to have visitors other than me, and every two or three months her son who lives a good distance away.

She does not show any signs of dementia, but her hearing is very poor.   She especially has difficulty hearing on her phone.  I have been there when she has received phone calls, and she gets befuddled while trying to understand the person on the other end of the line.  Sometimes I think she guesses what the other person is saying, and tries to respond appropriately.  

The reason this concerns me, I think she may be being bilked by one or more unscrupulous telemarketers.  She’s always showing me new stuff that she has purchased over the phone.  Frankly, it’s just a bunch of junk that she has no use for.  More than once she said she thought she had purchased something, but it was never delivered.  She excused it by saying she was sure they wouldn’t have charged her credit card if they didn’t send the item.  I’m not so sure.

I have no evidence anything wrong is going on, and it’s really none of my business, but I do have an uneasy feeling about this.  Should I do or say something, and if so, what?

Concerned Neighbor

Dear Concerned,

Your neighbor is fortunate to have such a caring friend.  What you are describing is a possible case of elder financial abuse.  Older people are taken advantage of more than other age group by strangers, caregivers, “friends”, even family.  Frequently they are targets because of their loneliness or insecurity.

Even if an older person knows they have been scammed, their fear or embarrassment may prevent them from reporting it to anyone.  Isolated elders, such as your friend, may not know who to report to, even if they want to.  Experts say that for every case of elder abuse that is reported there may be as many as 5 cases that have not been reported.    

Please contact your friend’s son as soon as possible, and tell him what you have told me.  He should tell her to never buy anything over the phone unless she initiated the call.  He can then take a look at her credit card statement and checkbook, and discuss with her how she is spending her money.  She should review her statements every month, and get a credit report every 6 months.