I had to write because I became so worried after reading your reply to the young lady who desperately wants a puppy for her 15th birthday. I think your advice is laudable in that you attempt to please both the young lady and her parents; however "Puppy Love's" letter rang alarm bells in my mind.

First, even if she proves she can take care of their current family pooch, Jerry, and she successfully adopts a puppy, what happens to the "puppy" in three years when she goes to college? Who takes care of him then? No animals are allowed in dorms, and I know of VERY few landlords who allow dogs. Does she expect her parents to become grandparents to the puppy when she's gone? Or worse, does she not plan on attending college? I have seen too many animals abandoned by college students for these very reasons - in a well-meaning but thoughtless moment, they get a dog, and then ultimately have to give it up.
 
Secondly, a puppy is not a cute little puppy forever. And on the flip side, a puppy needs exponentially more care than a mature dog. Like babies, it seems many young adults do not fully grasp the amount of time and attention raising an animal from infancy entails.
 
Finally - and most worrisome - is the implied emotional issues behind "Puppy Love's" infatuation with having a puppy. The scenario seems frighteningly similar to young teens who desperately want a baby - not because they will be good mothers, but because they are immature, selfish, and want someone around they assume will love them "unconditionally." 14 is a tough age - but the best way to deal with it is with the support of human peers. All reputable shelters and adoption centers warn against the motivation of "wanting to be loved" for adopting a pet. Someone her age should be seeking human social outlets like sports, yearbook, 4H, volunteering (as you suggested, perhaps at the shelter), whatever - and making human friends her age. If she were engaged in these kinds of activities and kept busy with teammates and friends, I guarantee her desire for the puppy would lessen, and she would be able to wait until she is at a more stable and independent stage of her life.

 Concerned

 

Dear Concerned,

Thank you for your thoughtful letter.  I had not considered the possibility that Puppy Love’s desire for a puppy might be a manifestation of an emotional need that would better be directed elsewhere.  Also, as one who (very willingly) adopted a stepdaughter’s cat when she went away to college, I should have considered that aspect as well.   

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