Dear Miss SmartyPants,

I have been invited to visit a small liberal arts campus after applying for a position in the English Department there.  I’m excited about the opportunity.  However, this is a little unusual in that they have invited my wife and our infant daughter to come along, too.  They are invited to join me for dinner with the department and their spouses.  During the day she’ll be having lunch with the wife of one of the department faculty, taking a campus and town tour and meeting with a realtor.

I will be wearing a suit, of course, but my wife and I are not sure how she should dress.  Do you have any thoughts on the matter?

Uncertain

Dear Uncertain,

That does seem unusual.  I wonder what is behind the invitation.  Do they want an opportunity to sell your wife on the members of the department and their spouses, the campus, and the community so she will in turn influence your decision in a positive way?  Or do they want to check her out to be sure she conforms to their idea of a faculty wife?  I hope it is for the first reason, because that would indicate they are very interested in hiring you.  The second reason seems a bit off-putting.  If she doesn’t “measure up” to whatever their standards are for faculty wives, are your chances to land the position compromised?  Besides, what would that say about their attitude toward tolerance?

Well, we don’t know why she is invited.  But as far as how to present herself, I would say she will be safe being conservatively dressed, perhaps nice slacks with a twin sweater set, or a skirt around knee length, heels no higher than 2 inches, and a blazer.  Her hair should be neat, makeup lightly applied, and nails a neutral color.

It’s interesting that they have arranged for your wife to talk with a realtor.  That really does indicate they are quite interested in you, seems to me.  While she is lunching and touring, you wife would be wise to ask about what kinds of childcare are available, particularly if she intends to work right away or sometime in the future.  Also you should both do your homework regarding the local schools, to be assured your child’s future education will provide the quality you expect for her. 

You may also want to explore what cultural opportunities are available in or near the town in which you would be living.  You probably don’t want to live in a cultural desert.

If you have an interest in spectator sports, check those out, too. 

After your visit, you will probably have a much better idea of 1) why your wife was invited, and 2) whether you and your wife think your family would be a good fit within the department, campus and community.  Good luck to you and your wife, I certainly hope your visit is pleasurable, and if you want it, that you land the position.