My husband and I were married nine years ago, and we had a wonderful life of traveling, socializing through dinner parties with friends, community involvement by performing volunteer work and attending special events … I loved the life.  We were well-known and respected, and I felt like I was on top of the world.

In those days I had a terrific figure, and could wear anything well.  My husband has a very good income, so I never wanted for the latest fashions.  We would enter a room and we could feel people’s eyes on us, as if they were saying, “Ah, they’re here … Don’t they look fabulous?”  And, frankly, we did.

Well, things have changed.  We decided to get pregnant after four years of marriage and carefree living, and in no time, I was.  I considered myself fortunate to be a stay-at-home mom, able to be there for my daughter and not miss any of the wonderful milestones in her life.  That part has worked out beautifully.  She is now 5, a sweet and wonderful child, absolutely adored by her father and me.    

But me!  I put on 27 pounds with the pregnancy, and haven’t lost a pound.  My skin is blotchy, my hair is dull, I can’t keep my fingernails looking nice – I’m a mess.  None of my old clothes fit me, but I won’t buy fat clothes, so usually I wear sweat clothes.  This is what my husband gets to come home to every evening.

He, of course, still looks terrific.  His temples are graying and he has some lines, but that just makes him more handsome than ever.  He is trim because he still goes to the gym 3 nights a week, and runs every chance he gets.  

And there he is, in a busy office with good-looking young women all day, and in the gym where there are more of the same.  I don’t want to borrow trouble, but my morale is low and sinking.  Any ideas to boost my self-confidence?

Insecure

Dear Insecure,

It is possible to change, even fun.  You need to make time for yourself.  With money apparently not a problem, and your daughter in school, you are able to:

1. Schedule weekly sessions for manicures/pedicures.  Get your hair conditioned and cut regularly.  See a dermatologist, if necessary, for skin care suggestions.   

2. Only buy healthful food; food with empty calories does not go into your mouth.

3. Go to the gym, get a trainer, and get moving.  Every day, 3/4 - 1 hour.  Do it!

In two months you will look better, feel better & have more energy.  Stick with it and you will regain your healthy self and the confidence you are missing!